Holiday Party Guide: Eat, Drink, and Still Be Slim

The dreaded holiday buffet spread -- for the average dieter, it's a seasonal sight that's anything but merry. This year, we're going to show you how you can defend your waistline and still enjoy yourself at any party -- from finger foods and cheese plates to drinks and dessert. Happy holidays!
By Chee Gates
Prevent Party Pig-Out
If they're not in the bathroom line, you know exactly where most women are: Hovering over the buffet table, thinking, I'm famished. This stuff looks scrumptious. Forget the diet. Now, you don't have to be one of them.
You'll bust your seams if you...
Skip meals all day long.
Why? "Arriving at the party hungry will make you reach for the first thing you see (and the second, and the third!) -- whether it's healthy or not," says Elisa Zied, RD, a spokesperson for the American Dietetic Association and author of Feed Your Family Right!
Instead: "Cut back on refined carbs and fats throughout the day to give yourself some leeway," advises Zied. "And include protein and fiber in every meal to help you feel full." For example, at breakfast have oat bran cereal with skim milk, a low-fat yogurt, and a piece of fruit. At lunch, throw some beans into your salad and swap the oil-based dressing for balsamic vinegar with a little mustard mixed in. Have a healthy snack -- a handful of nuts or air-popped popcorn -- right before the party.
Work out as an excuse to eat more.
Why? "One exercise session is not going to make up for the hundreds of extra calories consumed at a party," says Zied.
Instead: "Add an extra 10 minutes to your workout for a week, if you know you may be overly tempted," recommends Zied. "When you exercise just to compensate for calorie intake, you're setting yourself up to feel bad when you can't work off a high-calorie meal."
Taste a little bit of everything.
Why? "Studies show that eating too many different types of food may turn on your appetite," says Zied.
Instead: "Survey the entire food spread first," says Zied, "then choose a few things that you really want." Count the party grub as one meal -- aim for 500 to 600 calories, including your drink, she adds. Take two small-size plates of food -- one for snacks, the other for appetizers.
Secrets of a Successful Dieter
Forty pounds lighter, lotsa parties (and two years) later, Weight Watchers meetings leader Liz Josefsberg finally has a grip on her munchies. Her formula:
Relax. "I realized that I can become very anxious at social events, and I eat to keep myself busy. Now I take a half-hour walk before the party to calm my nerves."
Strategize. "Early in the day, I create a plan for what I will and won't eat. If I decide to have a drink, then I won't have dessert. And I don't eat standing up, because experts say our brains may not properly register it."
Hit rewind. "If I have too many mini quiches, I don't continue to stuff my face and wait until the next day to resume my diet. Each minute is a chance to start over."
What to Eat: Before You Dip
Just because you eat it on a celery stick doesn't make it healthy. "Many dips are oily, sugary, and high in sodium," Zied says, which is why two tablespoons should be your portion limit.
What to Dip
Hummus (54 calories, 2.6g fat, 0.3g saturated fat)
Salsa (9 calories, 0.1g fat, 0g saturated fat)
What to Skip
Smoked Salmon with Cream Cheese (70 calories, 6g fat, 4g saturated fat)
Spinach (78 calories, 7.6g fat, 2g saturated fat)
Your Best Choice?
Salsa! "Tomatoes are a low-calorie source of vitamins A and C and lycopene, which protects the heart," says Zied.
What to Eat: More Cheese, Please!
Cloned, packaged queso is so cheesy. "Consumers want an artisan-quality product now, bursting with flavor and creative flair," says Peggy Smith, cofounder of the California-based "cheesery" Cowgirl Creamery. One thing that hasn't changed is the fat content. Your serving should be no more than two ounces, Zied says, about the length of two fingers. Pick only two or three varieties, so as not to provoke your appetite.
Cheddar

229 Calories 19g Fat 12g Sat. Fat
Chevre 207 Calories 17g Fat 12g Sat. Fat
Brie 189 Calories 16g Fat 10g Sat. Fat
Swiss 215 Calories 16g Fat 10g Sat. Fat
Gruyere 234 Calories 18g Fat 11g Sat. Fat
Mozzarella (whole milk)
170 Calories 13g Fat 7g Sat. Fat
Blue 200 Calories 16g Fat 11g Sat. Fat
Gouda 202 Calories 16g Fat 10g Sat. Fat


Your Best Choice?
Fresh mozzarella is the lowest in fat and calories, but its mild taste may not satisfy your craving. "All the varieties here are good sources of protein," says Zied. Gruyere, Swiss, and cheddar contain the most calcium.
What to Eat: The Best Finger Foods
Bite-size poppers can be dicey, Zied says, because the calories can add up quickly. Select three items as your main course, but get your fill early on. Celebrity event planner Colin Cowie, author of Colin Cowie Chic, says, "I like to serve lighter dishes first and heavier ones afterward."
3 California Sushi Rolls = 125 calories, 2g fat, 0.5g saturated fat
Mini Burgers (1 burger) = 111 calories, 5g fat, 1.8g saturated fat
Shrimp Cocktail = 83 calories, 0.8g fat, 0.2g saturated fat
Chicken Skewers = 94 calories, 2g fat, 0.6g saturated fat
Your Best Choice?
Shrimp is the leanest, but each item listed here has some nutritional value, says Zied.
What to Sip: The Best Holiday Cocktails
It is a cocktail party -- you expect to see some neon-tinged fizz. Unfortunately, these trendy drinks are often chock-full of sugar. Choose the one you really want, Zied suggests, so you won't even miss the second round.
Sangria (4 ounces) = 82 calories
Mojito (one drink) = 135 calories
Champagne with Chambord (4 ounces champagne, 1 ounce Chambord) = 159 calories
Lemon Drop (one drink) = 237 calories
Your Best Choice?
If all of these sound equally delicious, go for the Sangria. "Both the red wine and the fruit contain antioxidants," Zied says.
Yes, You Can Have Dessert!
Dessert's gotten such a bad rep, but no longer. Eat up!
Apple pie (1/8 of a 9-inch pie): 411 calories, 19g fat (5g saturated)
Pumpkin pie (1/8 of a 9-inch pie): 316 calories, 14g fat (5g saturated)
Carrot cake (one 3-inch square): 250 calories, 11g fat (3g saturated)
Gingerbread (one 2-by-3-inch slice): 263 calories, 5g fat (3g saturated)
Shortbread cookies (2 cookies): 160 calories, 8g fat (2g saturated)
Chocolate chip cookies (3 cookies): 234 calories, 14g fat (7g saturated)
Dark-chocolate-dipped strawberries (4 berries): 166 calories, 9g fat (0g saturated)
If All Else Fails, You Can Dress 10 Pounds Thinner
Style maverick Carson Kressley, host of the new Lifetime show How to Look Good Naked, dresses you slim.
Spoil yourself. "Visit your hairstylist or get a fresh manicure -- do the thing that makes you feel extra pretty. You'll have a boost of confidence before you even arrive at the party," says Kressley.
No restrictions. "Tightly fitting clothes are too constricting; you came to the party to let loose," he says. "Wear the dress that makes you feel the most attractive. You won't want to spoil your look by overeating, and you'll be too busy flirting to think about food." Curve-hugging cashmere and wool knit dresses are very "in the moment," he notes. For a festive spin, swap your little black frock for a tomato-red number that shows some leg.
Be self-assured. "Remember, no one at the party is offering the unique package that you have," says Kressley. "Flaunt what you've got!"

Dating in Midlife?

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Wondering how to date now that you're past your 20s and 30s? Listen to these insights from Carleen Brice, editor of Age Ain't Nothing But a Number: Black Women Explore Midlife, a collection of essays on midlife by 45 African-American women writers. Here, she shares how for today's black woman, midlife isn't her grandmother's "change of life"—and much more.

Q: How do you think most African-American women feel about midlife dating right now?

A: Like everybody, African-American women vary in their feelings and thinking. If there's anything close to prevailing philosophy, I'd say that as African-American women get older they become more independent and therefore more willing to give men some space.

Q: What do women expect from a relationship these days?

A: They're more realistic about what they can expect from a romantic relationship. These women are less inclined to see a man as perfect in order to love him, and they also know that they don't need to spend so much time with him to believe he cares for them. A friend of mine who is a writer in her 60s said that she thinks younger women often don't take the time to get to know themselves and love themselves, and that's why they become insecure, needy, and at times overly possessive of their mates.

Q: How do you think women at this stage feel about men and committed relationships?

A: Let me give you a good example: One woman told me that she had always wanted a partner, but when she was younger she didn't put a lot of effort into pursuing it. Now in her 40s she's treating getting a mate with the same focus as she would put toward looking for a job. Her main criterion in a man is someone who wants to be in a relationship. I think when we're younger, we tend to believe we can change men and make them into who we want them to be. As we get older, we know that we need to look for a man who already has what we want, because we ain't going to change him!

Q: What's the best advice you can offer to midlife African-American women who are about to re-enter the dating pool?

A: Don't base your desires for a new man on the one you had before. In other words, if you're divorced, don't look for the opposite of your ex-husband. If you're widowed and your late husband was a wonderful man, don't look for his duplicate. Think about what you want in a mate without any preconceived notions. Start from scratch. More and more African-American women of all ages are becoming more willing to consider a man who falls somewhat outside of what they thought they had to have—younger men, older men, men of different races. Midlife women, too, should be flexible about who they date and open to the idea that love comes in all kinds of packages.

It's great that as we get a little older we know that a man doesn't have to be perfect to be The One. Be realistic, but don't believe you have to "settle" for less because you are older. Wild, romantic love can — and does — come to those in midlife, too!

You're Approved!
By: Finance Team

Your goal is to secure financing. Your prospective lender's goal is to understand your company's financial and non-financial aspects so well that he or she becomes comfortable with giving you money. Therefore, to best meet your need for capital, you should try addressing the needs of the lender first.

One of the first things any business owner should know about seeking capital is that lenders have a limited amount of time to review a loan request and make a decision. As it is impossible for a lender to know every industry, your first priority should be to help him or her understand the industry in which your business operates. This will help your prospective lender become more comfortable with your company and will improve your chances in securing the loan your company needs.

Specifically, you'll want to discuss a number of factors that influence a business in your industry, including driving forces, risks, and how you mitigate risks.

Talk about key driving forces in your industry.
When a lender reviews a loan request from a company in an unfamiliar industry, a lack of industry knowledge can make the lender skeptical and cautious about granting the loan. Therefore, it's beneficial to you to talk about your industry's most important issues, which may include, but are not limited to, so-called macroeconomic issues (labor, regulations, impact of changing interest rates, consumer spending, fluctuations in currency), cyclicality, seasonality, suppliers or buyers, entry or exit costs, technology, competition, and international considerations (if applicable). If your business operates and services customers on a local or regional level, focus on explaining to the lender the industry environment in your company's immediate market area. Do not lose points on something as simple as not sharing with your prospective loan officer information about your industry.

Explain what risks your business faces in the industry.
Each lending institution, whether it is a bank or a financing company, avoids extending loans to those customers who operate in risky industries. Larger financial institutions have lists of industries that are called prohibited industries (they cannot lend to companies in those industries under any circumstances; impacts only small number of businesses) and non-preferred industries (they do not lend unless there is something special about that company or loan request). Smaller community banks are less formal and are simply cautious about lending to certain industries, which commonly include restaurants, construction contracts, and high-tech companies. For instance, industry risks for a restaurant in an urban area such as Boston may include very high competition, discerning and demanding customers, rising costs of produce and alcohol, lack of quality waiting staff, and threat of losing your star chef to competitors.

As each company faces industry risks, regardless if those are lender-perceived or actual threats to your company, your next step is to make lenders comfortable with those risks.

Demonstrate what actions you have taken to mitigate industry risks.
When you disclose an industry risk or anything that may be perceived as a risk, you must provide an explanation of how you have been able to mitigate or eliminate the risk. This is the key to giving a lender confidence. It shows that you know what you are doing and are prepared to address and face the risks during the period of loan repayment.

For instance, an appliance retailer may mitigate industry risks by maintaining a good reputation in an area and an established customer base, demonstrating an ability to maintain low costs of inventory by purchasing through a cooperative arrangement, offering a wide selection of appliances, exercising aggressive collection practices, and performing excellent customer service. The list of mitigating factors can include your business's existing experience in dealing with some of your industry's challenges; the actions management is currently taking to address certain industry risks; or a game plan management has developed to curb industry threats.

In short, a lender wants you to know your industry--and know it well. It sounds simple, but I have worked with many borrowers who neglected to realize and face their industry issues-- and ultimately this neglect hurt their businesses. If you follow these rather simple suggestions, you will make a lender's job easier, will earn his or her respect, and will lay a foundation for your future loan relationship.

Old Habits Die Hard
by Raecine Tyes

Putin wasn’t the only one rearing his head, as Sarah Palin unconvincingly stated, he infrequently does, over American airspace. There was a much more powerful presence looming in the midst of this last presidential election; One which rose especially high to meet the occasion. An aged bully, whose common use of subtleness, was traded for blatant, contorted words and innuendos, to intimidate those that naïvely surrender to its existence. Although this contender lost the final bout to heavyweight Barack Obama, racism lingers in its own upset.

For years, racism has fought the inevitableness of progress. However, change, which attempts to threaten this ominous foe into extinction, is not welcome by all. For some, the behavior that defines racial discrimination is an easy performance, perfected by years of practice. Likened to a deep niche carved out in wood that smoothes over time from repeated wear, anything that opposes the appalling tendencies of bigotry creates friction, just as sand paper, to the wood surface. But will a presidential victory of a black man alone be enough to sway prejudice people into a new, unbiased way of life? Hardly! In fact, that accomplishment has left some with high emotions that have yet to touch down.

During the race, onlookers witnessed negative campaign ads against Obama which contained racial undertones. In addition, the opposing candidates stated extreme unfounded remarks about Obama, which desperately tried to portray him as an ‘outsider’. Therefore, the question of the day for most people was, “Would white America vote for a black man?” Baffled, because a clear cut answer never emerged, the media curiously calculated figures from daily polls and frantically tried to predict what class of Americans would vote for whom, and why.

But one didn’t have to go as far as the campaign trail to experience racial tension. The fact that some people had a problem with a black man in office was apparent by racial slurs, demeaning pictures and jokes of what a black presidency would be like. An example of one such object occurred when Obama’s picture was placed on a food stamp with watermelon, kool-aid, ribs and fried chicken…foods commonly used to stereotype blacks. Could the intentions of the person who created that have been positive in any way, what so ever? Interestingly, although some didn’t vote for Obama because he was black, the question that repeatedly emerged was that maybe others voted for him for precisely the same reason. Is that racism?

For the generations that were born and raised after the life and death of Martin Luther King Jr. and the civil rights era, this election was a firsthand glimpse of how quickly change can occur. Unfortunately, it also revealed the ugly side of America that so many are trying to hide, or at least forget. By becoming the first black President, Barack Obama has made history, there’s no doubt about that. However, will his election affect racism in America? Are blacks racist for proclaiming proudly, “I have a black president!”? Do you believe racism was prominent during this past election or were voiced concerns just a case of people being overly sensitive? What do your answers reveal about you?
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Got Stress?
by Raecine Tyes


Pressure, anxiety, constant worry, nervous tension or trauma; Regardless of what term a person may use, stress can’t be sugar coated. Many people deal with countless changes in life and perhaps hectic situations on a daily basis that trigger the aforementioned feelings. The juggling act of day to day living alone can ignite in some people this unwanted perpetrator. Whether you are planning a wedding, in jeopardy of losing your job, dealing with a home foreclosure or the winner of a million dollar lottery, each of these situations, good or bad, can induce stress.

The FreeDictionary.com defines stress as an individuals “total response to environmental demands or pressures.” In addition it is described as being the result of “interactions between persons and their environment that are perceived as straining or exceeding their adaptive capacities and threatening their well-being.” Arguably, The American Institute of Stress states that stress is “a highly subjective phenomenon that defies definition… and can be helpful and good when it motivates people to accomplish more.” At any rate, most people would like to rid their lives of stress and the ugly symptoms that accompany it; not to mention, as quickly as possible.

Why? Because stress has been known to cause and propel aches, pains, and illness within a person’s body which can cause the domino effect of even more stress. Listed below are some tried and tested ways to liberate you from this deadly offender.

1. Consult with your doctor
If the stress that you are experiencing is overwhelming and you can’t shake it, it may be time to consult with your doctor. A medical doctor or therapist may be able to talk you through situations of anxiety or issues that have become an annoying focal point in your life. A doctor can also prescribe medication to calm your nerves, but this is recommended only if absolutely necessary.

2. Exercise, Exercise, Exercise!
The importance of exercising can’t be emphasized enough. Not only can frequent exercise greatly reduce the risk of numerous diseases such as heart attack, stroke and diabetes, it can wipe away symptoms related to stress .Fun activities such as swimming, jogging, bicycling or any involvement in physical activity can energize your mind and body. If you have never started an exercise regime or hesitant to do so, start off with a brisk walk in a park or around your neighborhood. It can do wonders.

3. Talk it out
Do you have a friend or family member that you can confide in? Most times, if you let someone close to you know that you are going through a trying time in your life, they won’t mind if you use them as a sounding board. Express to them your fears, opinions, anxieties, and worries. They may be able to give a word of advice from a perspective you may not have considered. However, sometimes quiet support is just as effective.



4. Meditate
Taking time to meditate on what is important in your life will help put everything into focus. Capturing personal time for yourself can help you to reorganize thoughts and revitalize your spirit. Soothing music, a hot steamy shower or a long bubble bath can relax your mind and remove worries that you may subconsciously highlight which become sources of frustration, throughout the day. Some people participate in yoga, tai chi, stretching or other forms of activity that serenely iron tension away.

5. Eat right
A healthy, balanced diet can stimulate and maintain your vitality, physically and mentally. In contrast, foods laden high in fat, oils, sugars and salt can incite underlying illness and health concerns, which may further worsen the impact of stress. Fresh fruits and vegetables are perfect as a snack or a compliment to a balanced, meal. Prepare a menu in advance for creatively prepared, healthy meals.

Other numerous ways to significantly reduce stress include dancing, laughing with your children, painting a picture, playing games or simply singing your favorite song, with or without music! Think positive and realize that stress can be short lived and possibly nonexistent after you have it under control.

Strengthen the Bond Take a moment and ask yourself "What can I do today to bring me and my family closer together?" This is a great opportunity to strengthen your relationship with your family. Avoid what is wrong with your family, and instead turn your attention to what is great about your family. You can't choose your family, but you can choose whether you will be a victim to catching the crazy. Focus on what makes your family magnificent, and choose to share and exude love in all circumstances this holiday season.

It's that time of the year again, when families gather to stuff their bellies full of food and drink, reconnect with loved ones, and reminisce about growing up. My mother and sister in law spend their day in the kitchen whipping up succulent roasted turkey, sweet potato mash, corn on the cob, and pumpkin pie. My brother dresses my niece and nephew in Steelers football uniforms and we play tackle on the living room floor, while the game blares in the background. My father and I take a bike ride along the Potomac, enjoying the freedom of windy paths along wooded trails. We all gather around the TV and watch Star Wars, basking in the nostalgia of an experience that mesmerized us as children almost 30 years ago. Hugs and kisses abound, and there is the amazing glow of love that fills the air during the holiday season. With a home full of family and relatives, this is not only a great time to bond, but the perfect opportunity to catch the crazy!

If you think your family wrote the book "How to out do Whitney and Bobby", you are not alone. Many families struggle with unresolved issues that have been hidden away in the individual psyches of each family member. When they gather together for the holidays, it´s typical for circumstances to drive them to the edge of reason. When they reach this breaking point, crazy thoughts blind them from making positive choices. Looking at your family issues through crazy lenses can cause it to spin out of control, thus turning your happy little holiday gathering into a family mess. Here are 10 Ways to avoid Catching the Crazy this Holiday season